she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
