Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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