Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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