i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
