so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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