Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
