I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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