Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
