it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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