You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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