Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
