so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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