Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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