Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
