My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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