There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
