yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
tell me about the fingering
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
