i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
