And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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