So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I wear drunk well.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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