It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
