You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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