hell yes lets make some ravioli
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
