she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
