we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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