I accidentally had phone sex last night
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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