Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
