He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
