So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize