Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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