How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
