i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
