also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
