Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
