Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He has the fingertips of a God
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