Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
