can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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