Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize