I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
