Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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