I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
