this boner is exhausting
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I supernannyed him into submission
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
