There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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