She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
