Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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