I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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