East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm passing your future prison.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
