what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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