my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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