My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
where are my eyebrows?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
