He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
