you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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