wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize