my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
