So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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