no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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