And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
this just has baby written all over it
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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