were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
