1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
