There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
