You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
either way he was missing a nipple.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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