her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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