You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize