big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
