Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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